Sleepless in Silverlake

Sunday night/Monday morning and unable to fall asleep.
There is so much going on right now, it hurts my brain to think about it. It's restless brain syndrome.

Peanut Butter Recall
Good job Peanut Corporation of America (PCA) for lying and scheming your way into contributing to hundreds of Salmonella poisonings as well as a number of related deaths. I can't even begin to describe my frustration and annoyance at this whole debacle of food safety standards. Apparently, beginning back in 2007, this company knew of a Salmonella contamination of their products. They manipulated test results of positive Salmonella until they got a lab to say they were negative. They slowly expanded the recall to pertain to all the lots affected (all the way back to January 2007!!!), and in their path, they have brought, i would say, hundreds of other companies to their knees trying to keep up with their own recalls of products that included the PCA's "high quality" peanut products. Way to go Stewert Parnell!

As a food safety person myself, i can't believe the level of deceit and lies that came out of this whole mess. The standards are there for a reason. To meet those standards is not hard. I don't blame the FDA for breathing down everyone's neck - it's a hard job trying to right someone else's wrong.

I am tentatively beginning the process of looking for a condo or townhouse to buy. This is an extremely scary prospect that will entail much frustration, penny-pinching, and soul-searching. Where do i want to live? Can i afford a down payment? Is my credit good enough? Am i biting off more than i can chew? All these and more are swimming through my brain at any and every second. There is so much talk about how they is a great time to buy, how its a buyer's market and how with the right moves, owning a house could be easy, simple and a good investment. Well, at this point, it will mean budgeting my food (which i have NEVER done in my life), maybe looking for a different part-time home that is cheaper and hopefully free, and deciding if i can do this on my own, or if i need to go in with someone else. (Not quite sure if i am ready to live with others again - i like this whole independence thing.)
There are certainly places out there that are within my "range". But to be honest, i am flat out scared stiff of taking such a leap. Buying a car was scary enough as it was, and this is talking about buying the equivalent of 10 cars all at once. Too much pressure!

Work Shmirk!
Ah, the joys of working with others! To put it simply, there is always a clash of personality. I don't even have much to say about this other than the fact that it is another perpetual thought that is racing through my brain, contributing to this sleepless night. Life wouldn't be life if it was easy. How's that for poetic!

Here's some good news! I recently watched 2 movies that i now love. I love Netflix for their ever suggestive ways and it wasn't that long ago that i got on a little Zooey Deschanel kick. I like her in general and had seen a pretty interesting remake of The Wizard of Oz called Tin man on TV. I realized i hadn't really seen many movies of hers. The first i found was called All the Real Girls. This movie has one of the greatest opening scenes i have seen in a while. It may be perceived as cliche indie to some, but i found it totally endearing and realistic. Aside from a slow patch toward the end, i was wrapped up in the story and impressed by the cinematography, music, and acting. It always comes down to saving yourself, no one else can do it for you.
The other was called Winter Passing. This was again a very magnetic film for me. The opening song was Cat Power's Nude as the News, a personal favorite, and from that moment i was sold. Some personal similarities: suicide of mother (in my case just attempted), estranged mother and father, not feeling enough approval or attention growing up, and i could go on. I mention these, not to garner sympathy, but to put reasoning behind my love of films and what they mean to me. There are so many movies that reflect life in truly entertaining and healing ways. I could write a novel based merely on the constant reflection i see of my own life in the films that i watch. (Could i then claim seeing movies as a tax deduction?)